Top ten reasons to vote for John McCain (humor)

10. We get to invade Iran, and as a result, undoubtedly learn to properly pronounce "Ahmadinejad."

9. We won't have four years of frothing conservative commentators on the news with protruding veins in their foreheads.

8. With gas prices approaching $14/gallon, you'll get much-needed exercise because the only way you can afford to get to work is via bicycle.

7. North Korea will gain favored trade status while France will be subject to sanctions, resulting in cheaper Kimchi and cigarette prices.

6. So many children will "not be left behind" that they'll actually lap the ones "left behind" and end up ahead!

5. Waterboarding will now be covered under your health care plan with NO DEDUCTIBLE!

4. Abandoned drilling rig across the street from your house makes excellent monkey bars for your children to play on.

3. NSA will offer a 1-800 number you can call to check your messages, phone, e-mail, or credit card receipts, and whereabouts of spouse or friends.

2. Polar Bear turns out to be a lot warmer and more comfortable than leather or denim.

...and the number one reason to vote for John McCain...

1. No impeachment proceeding against Obama for removing the tag off the mattress in the Lincoln bedroom.